I recently thought about how dating apps eliminate a crucial part of building a relationship - the authentic friendship and the unknown of whether someone is interested you or not. I feel like dating apps try to jumpstart relationships, and that doesn’t work at least in my experience.
Great piece again. Exactly what I wanted to read this week 🫶🏽
Another great article Emilie! Humans are a trible species who are hard wired for connection. We have innate drives to meet and connect with others. This requires courage to go out and put ourselves in social situations where we can feel inhibited and uncomfortable. Apps allow us to avoid this initial discomfort. However, the convenience they offer comes at a cost; we frame dating/ relationships/ connection with a mindset of picking various data points to help us find 'the one'. Like trying to find a great fitting pair of shoes online. The remedy is incredibly simple and effective. Find the courage to go and do the things you really want to do. Go to a yoga class, start calligraphy class, join a book club, go rock climbing, go to that place in nature you've always wanted to visit. You will meet people who share something important to you. The more people you meet the sooner you find meaningful connections. It's harder work than using the apps. But you have the pain upfront, instead of the pain at the end when yet again an app based connection leads to an unfulfilling experience. Have the courage to go towards what you find meaningful. This is the seed of all aspects of our life finding harmony. But it starts with us going out into the world, not into an app.
I think this is why I'm still missing the connection I had with the guy I was recently dating that came to an end. We met 'in the wild' rather than on an app so I felt I valued the connection more almost, it felt more rare, it felt more 'fate' and it feels like it doesn't happen often but need to remember it DID happen and can happen again 🎀🎀
I totally agree, I value meet-cutes or connections I made away from the apps SO much more! I deleted all apps a few weeks ago because I’m a hopeless romantic and know in my bones I will meet my person outside in the wild haha <3
Emilie… you wrote down everything I felt word for word (and the fact that I am also in London makes it sting even more).
I had a relationship with a Londoner for about a year, it ended in a very sad and messy way. I remember the very last meet-up we had with his family in the pub after our breakup (yeah I tried to Kintsugi of whatever we had left), his mother gave me the exact “cab light” story for his son, meanwhile, he continued to chat on the other side of the table.
His mum said to me that she was concerned that his son’s cab light may not go “green” even if he would make it to his sixties. She told me not to cry as a tear rolled down my cheek. I loved him to bits, yet his mother was telling me not to waste my youth and time with him. I was 27 at that time, he was 38.
I think they put something in our water in this city, or I do not know. It’s as if the warmth of soulful connections and love do not pay a visit to London anymore.
Oh well, those who have hope always carry their warmth within right? ♥︎
I love the part ‘It’a as if the warmth of soulful connections and love do not pay a visit to London anymore.’ So beautifully said!! I’ve been living in London for about a year now and I still haven’t lost hope that one day I’ll meet someone that I will click with it but there are days when I feel exactly what you’ve described… Sometimes I even ask myself whether London is the place for me
Hi Andrea! I feel you genuinely, I’ve been in London for about 8-9 years now.
I have a rough relationship with London, the adjustment hasn’t been easy, sometimes i feel as I am still in that transition period! But our power lies in seeing the good in our environment despite all the loneliness. You are definitely not alone <3
I definitely think dating apps have created a crisis of commitment, there’s an attitude of “why settle?” when there’s always the possibility of someone better just a few swipes away. It’s a false economy of course.
I recently thought about how dating apps eliminate a crucial part of building a relationship - the authentic friendship and the unknown of whether someone is interested you or not. I feel like dating apps try to jumpstart relationships, and that doesn’t work at least in my experience.
Great piece again. Exactly what I wanted to read this week 🫶🏽
I agree so much Matt! I really think dating apps skip that important part of getting to know each other
Another great article Emilie! Humans are a trible species who are hard wired for connection. We have innate drives to meet and connect with others. This requires courage to go out and put ourselves in social situations where we can feel inhibited and uncomfortable. Apps allow us to avoid this initial discomfort. However, the convenience they offer comes at a cost; we frame dating/ relationships/ connection with a mindset of picking various data points to help us find 'the one'. Like trying to find a great fitting pair of shoes online. The remedy is incredibly simple and effective. Find the courage to go and do the things you really want to do. Go to a yoga class, start calligraphy class, join a book club, go rock climbing, go to that place in nature you've always wanted to visit. You will meet people who share something important to you. The more people you meet the sooner you find meaningful connections. It's harder work than using the apps. But you have the pain upfront, instead of the pain at the end when yet again an app based connection leads to an unfulfilling experience. Have the courage to go towards what you find meaningful. This is the seed of all aspects of our life finding harmony. But it starts with us going out into the world, not into an app.
Thank you so so much Sam! I agree, these are all lovely ideas to meet someone
I think this is why I'm still missing the connection I had with the guy I was recently dating that came to an end. We met 'in the wild' rather than on an app so I felt I valued the connection more almost, it felt more rare, it felt more 'fate' and it feels like it doesn't happen often but need to remember it DID happen and can happen again 🎀🎀
It did happen and it will again! I love this - thank you for reading ❤️❤️❤️
I totally agree, I value meet-cutes or connections I made away from the apps SO much more! I deleted all apps a few weeks ago because I’m a hopeless romantic and know in my bones I will meet my person outside in the wild haha <3
Thank you so much for reading Sarah! I agreeee x
Emilie… you wrote down everything I felt word for word (and the fact that I am also in London makes it sting even more).
I had a relationship with a Londoner for about a year, it ended in a very sad and messy way. I remember the very last meet-up we had with his family in the pub after our breakup (yeah I tried to Kintsugi of whatever we had left), his mother gave me the exact “cab light” story for his son, meanwhile, he continued to chat on the other side of the table.
His mum said to me that she was concerned that his son’s cab light may not go “green” even if he would make it to his sixties. She told me not to cry as a tear rolled down my cheek. I loved him to bits, yet his mother was telling me not to waste my youth and time with him. I was 27 at that time, he was 38.
I think they put something in our water in this city, or I do not know. It’s as if the warmth of soulful connections and love do not pay a visit to London anymore.
Oh well, those who have hope always carry their warmth within right? ♥︎
I love love love this comment! Thank you so much for sharing with me ❤️❤️❤️
🥰💗
I love the part ‘It’a as if the warmth of soulful connections and love do not pay a visit to London anymore.’ So beautifully said!! I’ve been living in London for about a year now and I still haven’t lost hope that one day I’ll meet someone that I will click with it but there are days when I feel exactly what you’ve described… Sometimes I even ask myself whether London is the place for me
Hi Andrea! I feel you genuinely, I’ve been in London for about 8-9 years now.
I have a rough relationship with London, the adjustment hasn’t been easy, sometimes i feel as I am still in that transition period! But our power lies in seeing the good in our environment despite all the loneliness. You are definitely not alone <3
Dating in London feels so so cold compared to other cities tbh
It really can!
It’s sad the way dating apps are going…
I definitely think dating apps have created a crisis of commitment, there’s an attitude of “why settle?” when there’s always the possibility of someone better just a few swipes away. It’s a false economy of course.