97 Comments
User's avatar
morgan elizabeth thompson's avatar

sometimes it’s comforting to know i’ve never had a single original experience x

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you for reading ❤️❤️❤️

Expand full comment
LOAM's avatar

Right 🤍

Expand full comment
Nagaramama's avatar

This tbh <3

Expand full comment
Regan Roberts's avatar

I honestly feel like the best thing is to not sleep with them until you've both really gotten to know each other. A man who's interested in you will fall in love without sex, I promise. Also, be upfront and off the bat about what you want from a relationship straight away. If you want long term and marriage, etc, you've got to say it straight away. No emotionally unavailable anything or anyone will stick around for that which is a blessing.

Expand full comment
Agnes's avatar

Came here to say this, I keep saying it and no one wants to listen. But holding back, watching and waiting and GETTING TO KNOW these guys when they don’t have an all access pass is the best way to know their true intentions towards you. And yours to them too, without the oxytocin scrambling your brain.

Expand full comment
Megan Phair's avatar

Is this play about us?- in all seriousness you have expertly articulated the joy and pain of being a deeply feeling person in an instant culture/world. Thank you for this article 🫶🏻

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much ❤️

Expand full comment
Joyful Sarcasm's avatar

Emilie this article is INCREDIBLE my goodness it made me tear up. You have a way with words that transcends me. I have been there I have felt what you felt, I could relate so much to this. But the ending of this wow …. I actually punched the air with joy SO empowering. Thank you for writing this and thank you for sharing. I lost my damn mind over something similar a long time ago. It broke me, destroyed my self worth finding my self was like walking Everest after. Xx

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much for reading & for this lovely comment - I’m so glad you also found the strength!

Expand full comment
Kate Seward's avatar

I love this so much. And I wouldn’t say it’s just your generation—I’m Gen X and was just in an 11 month situationship with another Gen X-er. It’s all about learning to love yourself and valuing what you want, no matter how old you are.

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much, unfortunately it does seem to be everywhere now, more of a sign of the times than an age thing!

Expand full comment
Hadassah ‎‫E.'s avatar

“I think I’m just made to love someone properly, I can’t do anything casually, I can’t work casually, I can’t have friendships casually, I commit to anything, I’m all or nothing ..." This is me. And it's a beautiful way to be.

Expand full comment
Katy's avatar

I love this article - I also have spent many a night wishing I didn’t feel everything so intensely, but now I’ve hit my 30’s I’ve realised I should just accept who I am and be grateful that I’m easily pleased and love with the full force of my heart.

Expand full comment
Isaac Reid's avatar

Equally as good as the first, so much so it's probably better. The friction you have to put your heart through to accept you can't do/be/live/love casual burns at first but it's a richer world for loving it. Please keep writing, will be ready - and so smiling (occasionally empathetically grimacing) - as long as you do

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Wow thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your kind words 🤍

Expand full comment
melaina's avatar

i think we’re the same person

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

Expand full comment
Halle Martin's avatar

“ I think there comes a point where we can all be brave and say I want better than that for myself. As well as a world where we stop betraying ourselves to make someone else’s life easier.”

Chills and such resonation. Emilie this is so beautifully written and something I find myself contemplating constantly as a fellow person who feels everything deeply. Thank you 🫶🏼🤍

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much for your kind words - I really appreciate you taking the time to read my work ❤️

Expand full comment
esther.swann's avatar

this made me reevaluate key times in my life that effected my develop deeply. thank you, i subscribed:)) xx

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much ❤️

Expand full comment
Lily Massey's avatar

Really loved this piece - made me laugh and emotional, and great to see a situation and someone I can relate to! Casual just isn’t for me, and we should be able to assert that!

Expand full comment
Pedro Camille's avatar

Thank you.

This is a wonderful read for the highly sensitive, the ones who feel things passionately and with certain fervor.

IMHO the dating pool is muddy because it’s lacking the human essence and everyone’s looking at each other as disposable entity that they can pick up and discard at a moment’s notice. People are too superficial and their emotions are too fickle and fleeting.

Expand full comment
Lea Luna's avatar

The way you write is so beautiful !! Im at loss of words, it's perfect. (+ i feel do understood, itd sad that this is how we experience dating!!)

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much ❤️

Expand full comment
Alice Clara's avatar

This was so, so, so brilliant. Thank you. You release cultural and personal insights with such speed and acuteness; it’s a treat for your reader. I love your writing style - I could devour both novels and essays from you, I feel like, depending on your fancy. Thank you so much. Goes without saying, but I think so many of your readers will relate to your precious words.

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much for reading and thank you so much for these kind words, I really appreciate it ❤️

Expand full comment
Gloria's avatar

You write so beautifully, I really enjoyed reading this! I’ve felt the exact same way

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Thank you so much for reading 🤍

Expand full comment